dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
