The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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