I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
