we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
