Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
