the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
