I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
