Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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