Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
