just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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