There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
