Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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