I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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