We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
