Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I FOUND THE LEGS
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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