judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
