I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
