Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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