White coat. Heels.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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