I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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