Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
