Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
