its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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