your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i drank out of a bidet.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I know her cup size but not her name....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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