direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
