I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
