I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Randomize
