Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
