he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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