dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
