sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
