just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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