sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize