Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize