my phone needs a breathalizer
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
