you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize