he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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