Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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