I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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