im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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