I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
