not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
whose ass print is on the piano?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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