i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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