I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
