why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize