hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
