Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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