have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
