went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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