Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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