My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
