im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize