i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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