He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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