I skipped work to stalk him.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
