yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Randomize