umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
