Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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