She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
